Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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