shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
