4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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