I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
