then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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