okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
