ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
