Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
