this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize