My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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