No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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