Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
