I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize