K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
