Umm I'm too high to move.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
