She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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