I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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