Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
