Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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