That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
