I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
