do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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