you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
