So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize