I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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