"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize