So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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