she looked like the before picture.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
