You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if only i could text you this smell
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize