After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize