8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Your cock deserves a montage
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
