Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
