K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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