If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
