I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
