Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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