I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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