Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
