shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This baby is an asshole
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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