if i can run in heels then i can drive
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
