everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
