Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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