dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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