note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
