I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
