xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
