It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
