why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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