Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
