you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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