So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
