ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
