You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
