I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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