Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
