My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
