fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
