I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
