Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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