We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
